Tony Massarotti doesn't understand anything

Following the Boston Red Sox for some time, I have seen more than my fair share of players run out of town for not living up to insane expectations day one into their Boston careers.

Julio Lugo -- a favorite punching bag of Sox fans -- is probably next. The fact he's lasted into the third year of a four-year contract is actually astounding.

Tony Massarotti, who is quickly becoming my new favorite Sox idiot writer, is doing his best to make sure Lugo doesn't make it past year 2.5.

The question, really, concerns how far the Red Sox are willing to go. How long are they willing to put Julio Lugo at shortstop? How long are they willing to try? How long before they give the keys to Nick Green or Jed Lowrie or someone else entirely?

Or what he really wants to write: Is Jose Reyes or Hanley Ramirez available?

In the interim, games are being played. And roughly one-fifth of the way through this 2009 season, the Red Sox are precisely where we left them at the end of 2008:

Unsure of themselves at the shortstop position.

Also at the end of the 2008 season: One fucking win (a 3-1 loss) away from the World Series.

In the middle stands Lugo, now in the third year of a four-year, $36 million contract. The money matters. ... What should have been a double play was, instead, a single. And instead of having nobody on with two outs, the Rays had the beginnings of what was a six-run rally.

In the moments thereafter, Lugo was booed by a Fenway Park following clearly aware that the Sox now have lost more games this season with Lugo as the starter (five) than they have with Nick Green (four).

Jesus Christ.

Those horrible, completely Lugo's fault losses were against...
CLE, TAM, TAM, CLE, TAM

And Lugo had ONE at-bat in one of those losses against Cleveland. So shove it.

Tampa is the AL champs and Sox pitching allowed nine runs against the Indians both games. Not exactly Lugo's doing. He's also gone 5-17 with two runs and two RBI (one homer) in losses he's started.

With regard to wins, Green (16) is winning by a landslide (Lugo has one). The Red Sox are choosing their words carefully with regard to Lugo’s play afield, but most anyone would be hard pressed to suggest that the Sox are a better team with Lugo on the diamond.

I don't know what Mazz uses for his stats, but I have Lugo with two "wins", May 7 and 8, where he went 4-9 with four runs scored.

And attributing wins to a SS is dumber than starting pitchers. Which is to say: dumb as shit.

Nick "The Hammer" Green has played in 24 games compared to Lugo's 9, with more than double the PAs. Now you'd think Green would be killing Lugo statistically, enough for Mazz to want to start him.

But nay, that would make sense.

Green's traditional line: 274/1/11 with a sterling .748 OPS
Lugo's: .357/1/2 with a .936 OPS

Now, unlike other Globe writers, I will admit Lugo's stats are nearly pointless because he's played so few games. But still, same homers and a much better OPS.

Nick Green is 30 years old, with five career homers and a .665 OPS. So he's actually playing over his head right now. By a lot. Green also has 16 Ks and two walks, the same amount of walks Lugo has in one third as many games.

Nick Green sucks at hitting a baseball.

But what about the Deeeeeeeeeefense?

For what it’s worth, Green hasn’t exactly been Ozzie Smith at shortstop this season, either, contributing six errors to a team total of seven from the shortstop position, tied for most in the majors. Just the same, most of Green’s errors have come on throws and he has been moving reasonably well in the field.

So much for that.

The combination of Green’s offense and defense has been an asset to the club, particularly when one considers that he entered the spring third (at least) on the depth chart at the position.

His offense sucks and his defense is bad. Anyone but Lugo I guess.

Between now and the time Lowrie returns -- if he returns -- both we and the Red Sox will have had sufficient time to evaluate their $36 million investment at shortstop. Lugo has plenty of time to change our minds. Until then, the Red Sox will continue to play games and position themselves for a potential postseason berth, hoping that Lugo does not hurt them more than he helps.

People know Lowrie put up a .739 OPS in 81 games (over 300 PA) last season? And hit two home runs, stole one base, struck out nearly twice as much as he walked (68:35) in 2008, right? The 25 doubles are nice, but Lugo was nearly as good, with way more upside.

The .685 OPS sucks, but the 12/16 steals and better K:BB ratio (51:34) make him a better option offensively. Lugo's D was pretty bad (16 errors), but does he really deserve to be replaced by a speed-less, powerless, unproven 25 year-old kid?

Economically, it makes sense. But Mazz didn't write that (other than "the money matters." Deep analysis there.), he's making this a baseball decision. Which is dumb.

Hand in hand, the Red Sox and their shortstop will walk the line together.

They could play a AAA guy (like Lowrie) and be World Series champs. They don't need Cal Ripken.

Relax.

Connelly and stream of consciousness writing

Did you hear? Some footballer named Tom Brady got hurt. I've never heard of him, but ESPN seems to be shitting themselves. And hey, Tim Rattay and Jeff George are back in the headlines, so it has to be good.

Micheal Connelly - who's "Top Ten" blog is a representation of everything wrong with blogging, filled with random facts, fragmented thoughts and incomplete sentences - is goin' off the rails on a crazy train with Brady knee-Gate (first), and pretty much everything else Boston sports related.

Tom Brady is already a Hall of Famer. But Canton, Ohio and a yellow jacket wasn’t his quest. His mission was to be the greatest quarterback that ever played the game. For seven years the sixth round pick turned out to be a stunning amalgamation of Jack Armstrong, Johnny Unitas and Clark Kent. He won whenever he stood over center and thrived while others melted.

Couldn't we get some more contemporary QBs in there? Montana, Elway, Aikmen maybe?

But then for some reason he deviated.

Lol wut?

Deviated: 50 TDs/one league MVP/one play away from a fourth Super Bowl ring.

He inexplicably ventured from his set course and instead traveled roads that often have transformed immortals to mortals. With Yankee hat on head, he walked the streets of New York with a model on his arm while teammates and fans wondered where their quarterback roamed. Instead of maintaining a routine of excellence - he fathered a child, carried flowers, skipped offseason workouts and attended concerts instead of practices.

Reason Brady got hurt yesterday was NOT Pollard hitting him. No. It was because he
1) wore a Yankees hat (sin)
2) walked in NY (millions and millions of people do that)
3) dated a model (awesome)
4) had a freakin' baby
5) carried flowers

Are you serious? You work for the second biggest publication in Boston and this is what you come up with.

The fact that the Patriot quarterback has spent more time with the paparazzi this offseason

His fault. Do you know he calls the paps to photograph him and interrupt his personal life?

Just minues into a season that he entered distracted,

He sure looked focused completing 7-for-11 and 76 yards.

we discovered that Tom Brady, like ourselves, is vulnerable. The quarterback who once threw like Zeus now limps like Achillies.

ESPN bottom line: Brady, unlike Achillies, was not dipped in the River Styx ... Mets 5, Phillies 3 ...

* At the same time Brady was going down, Favre was throwing a 56 yard touchdown pass

And Micheal Turner was running for 200+ yards, McNabb passed his third TD of the day and a bunch of other shit happened. So yes, other football was being played during this time. Thanks.

* I say this every year but are there more commercials than ever - ads killed the flow of the game - game was boring

Game was boring. Brady hurt got. Ads killed game. Broken writing is broken.

* How many drops did Bowe have for KC

Well question marks are cool. ESPN doesn't list drops, but he had five catches for 55 yards and a TD. He sucks.

* Paul Byrd is 4-1 as a Sox while being provided 8.5 runs of support in his four wins

Evidence that wins are fucking dumb. Bird could have given up 8.4 runs in his starts and be 4-1. I can't wait for his olde timey wind-up, hittable 85 MPH heaters and lack of strikeouts in the playoffs.

* Brett Favre is on pace for 32 TD and 0 Interceptions

Brady for Favre, straight up?

Can Pedroia and Youkilis split the MVP? Please?

Just kidding. But over here in MA, it seems a forgone conclusion that one of these pasty fellers will win it. I mean come on, they're on the Sawx, they're white (one's even Jewish!) and - most importantly - they hustle. Not like that lazy-ass (see: non-white) Manny Ramirez.

From fan chantin' (always the best barometer for who should win the MVP) to Ozzie Guillen lovin' to media drummin' - it seems as though the pint-sized second sacker will win the award.

Chad Finn - boston.com blogger - loves him the White Squirrel (nickname mine).

He'd be one of the smallest MVPs of modern times

Irrelevant.

- he's listed at 5 feet 9 inches and 180 pounds, which, according to baseballreference.com, makes him allegedly two inches taller and 20 pounds heavier than two-time NL MVP Joe Morgan.

No one cares.

But Pedroia's numbers are staggering for a hitter of any stature. He's leading the American League in batting (.330),

"Staggering?" Really? Great - I suppose. MVP-worthy - maybe. But "staggering?"

And BA is lame.

hits (188), multiple-hit games (55) and runs (108)

Runs are teammate dependent.

and third in doubles (43) and total bases (283). He has knocked in 22 runs in his last 19 games, is batting .600 over his last seven games, and has nine hits in 14 at-bats in the cleanup spot.

All very cool.

According to the Elias Stats Bureau via Buster Olney's blog, Pedroia is the first player in Red Sox history with a five-run, a five-hit, and a five-RBI game in the same season. Considering the hitters who have graced this franchise, that is an incredibly impressive accomplishment.

No, this is an incredibly odd, nuanced and pointless "stat" that means nothing. This is like Jimmy Rollins' 20/20/20/15/10/5/2/1/0.5 season in 2007.

And control your hyperbole rager there, Finn.

And while we'll get into a comparison of these Sox to the dynastic late-'90s Yankees another day, an astute Sons of Sam Horner poster pointed out that Pedroia's season at 24 years old is very similar to Derek Jeter's at the same age, when he hit .324, with 19 homers, 84 RBIs, and an OPS+ of 124

127, but who's counting (editing)?

in 1998.

It's worth noting that Jeter finished third in the MVP race that season, behind Texas's Juan Gonzalez and a certain expatriated Red Sox shortstop. But Jeter's competition, at the pinnacle of the steroids era, compiled far flashier numbers

I'll agree with this, to a point. Juan Gon hit 45 bombs with a .996 OPS. Nomar hit .323 with 35 homers, 12 steals and a .946 OPS.

Then there's Jeter. But Griffey - who finished fourth - hit 56 (!) homers with 20 steals. Manny, Mo Vaughn, Albert Belle (171 OPS+) and A-Rod all hit 40+ homers, had higher OPS+s and should have finished ahead of Jeter. But he's JETAH, so he finished third.

Now there aren't like 20 guys with 40 homers in 2008, but some dudes are putting together awesome seasons. Many of them are not on Finn's following list.

than have Pedroia's fellow candidates, who include:

Josh Hamilton: Wonderful numbers,

Which I would assume are a top priority in this award (even though I know it's not).

wonderful story, but the Rangers are an afterthought; his most meaningful moment of the season probably happened during his siege on Yankee Stadium at the Home Run Derby.

Thoughts. Memories. Scrapbooks. Acid flashbacks. These are the keys to winning an MVP award.

K-Rod: Sure he's having a season for the ages, but there a few stats more fraudulent than saves, and had he decided to take the season off to follow the Jonas Brothers on tour, the Angels still would hold a double-digit lead in the AL West.

All reasons to include him on the MVP list, even though he's maybe in the top five in the Cy running.

Carlos Quentin: The White Sox slugger might be his stiffest competition. He's walloped 36 homers, driven in 100 runs, and compiled a .965 OPS while anchoring surprising Chicago's powerful lineup. If Chicago makes the postseason, it would not be unjust if he claimed the honor.

Get this competency out of here.

Justin Morneau/Joe Mauer: Someone deserves credit for keeping that mediocre Minnesota roster in a pennant race, but Pedroia and Quentin are superior candidates to both Twins cornerstones.

Again, so include them!

Alex Rodriguez: I'm pretty sure I actually heard you snicker there.

Is it because I am a Red Sox fan??!?!?! Well-played and funny, Finnster.

Actually, he's a better candidate than the Twins dudes and certainly K-Rod. Probably better than people realize.

31 homers/.999 OPS/161 OPS+/16 steals with three CS/.315 BA for those who care.

So yeah, yet again one of the best all-around players in baseball, even when he only has 119 games played at this point.

Other things:

Kinsler Quentin Hamilton Pedroia A-Rod

OPS+: 134, 149, 135, 124, 161,

Runs Created: 105, 109, 110, 108, 107,

VORP: 55.1, 50.3, 47.8, 55.6, 63.2,

Pedroia has nearly the exact same stats (and plays the same position) as Kinsler - only with less steals (17 to 26) and homers (17 to 18). Oh yeah, and Kinsler is only batting .319, compared to Pedroia's .330.

So Pedroia = not best player at his position in his own league and behind a number of other players in most meaningful stats.

But the trump: He's on the Red Sox.

Start engraving the trophy now.

And the rich get whinier

It's amazing what a sweep will do to the psyche of the fragile Boston media.

"We were swept by the West leaders and a team with one of the best records in baseball. Two of the games were two-run affairs! The sky is falling! The Rays are going to win 110 games! The Yankees will catch up!"

And to complete the fear-mongering, trade demands!

Well, I'm convinced. The Red Sox aren't winning anything of consequence with this bullpen as currently constituted.

The Red Sox suck. Fuck the number: two team in MLB in OBP and slugging, eight in homers, three in runs, five in quality starts, 11 in WHIP and six in strikeouts. Those bums with a +87 run differential and the fourth best record in baseball.

I'm sure you're all too familiar with the flammable culprits in this 'pen-wide tribute to Heathcliff Slocumb. But I'm still fuming in the aftermath of tonight's loss, so what the heck, let's point some fingers:

Papelbon - 178 ERA+, 51K/7BB, 0.96 WHIP
Aarsdma - 158 ERA+, 41K/26BB, 1.40 WHIP
Okajima - 154 ERA+, 37K/16BB, 1.41 WHIP
Delcarmen - 93 ERA+, 40K/16BB, 1.30 WHIP
Lopez - 151 ERA+, 21K/16BB, 1.46 WHIP

The WHIPs kind of stink, but those ERA+s are pretty nasty (- Manny being Manny). And you have three guys with a better than 2:1 K/BB ratio and who have given you nearly 40 innings at the break.

Summary: shut the hell up.

You have one of the top three closers in baseball and some guys in the pen who are throwing decent to pretty good seasons together.

Then again, David Murphy for Eric Gagne turned out awesome.

Three seasons into his big-league career, Manny Delcarmen still gets the Schiraldi Eyes in big situations;

What?

he simply cannot be trusted in a tight game, a damning indictment of a pitcher with his ability. But I'm sure he'd put up sick numbers as a Washington National.

Oh, those Schiraldi Eyes. The not-stepping-up-to-the-moment eyes.

Being a reliever sucks 99 percent of the time. You are asked to come into runners on situations and expected to succeed every, single time. When you don't, people like Chad Finn want to run you out of town.

Delcarmen also has 13 holds (remember those? They're like saves ((re: they are)) but not as sexy) and a nasty K/BB ratio. I am sure a host of MLB teams wouldn't mind having his Schiraldi Eyes in their pen.

Chances are the help will have to come from outside the organization, which brings me to this piece by CNN/SI's Jon Heyman and a compelling thought:

Maybe the Sox should pursue Oakland closer Huston Street.

Solution to "bullpen woes?" Get another closer! From Billy Beane, nonetheless. Who's notorious for pumping up a closer's value.

The Phillies also just got hornswoggled by Beane in the Joe Blanton deal. Beane is stockpiling a ludicrous amount of young talent and I wouldn't expect him to ask for anything less for Street.

Also, Gagne.

Nick Cafardo, rocking the homer blinders

Nick Cafardo, respected writer for the Boston Globe and some scout, simply cannot understand why every team in baseball isn't a carbon copy of the uber-successful Boston Red Sox.

Money? Market size? Personnel? Dumbass GMs? Luck? Those are the answers I came up with in three seconds. Let's see what eludes Cafardo.

"One American League scout just shakes his head when you mention teams that don't hit. Teams like San Diego and San Francisco and Toronto and Seattle."

Those teams are pussies. Come on Giants, hit some home runs, will ya?

"Which is why a team like Boston stands out. It has balance. It can score and it can pitch. Is this such a hard formula for general managers to implement?"

Yes. Very hard actually.

There are currently only three teams in MLB that are top ten in ERA and Runs scored: the Cubs, D-backs and A's. The Cubs are number seven in all of baseball in terms of highest payroll. While the D-backs (#23) and A's (#28) are small market teams, they have smart front offices and young players playing very well at the moment. It remains to be seen if those two are in the top ten at seasons end.

Last year, only three teams were top ten in both ERA and Runs. Boston (world series champs, #2 payroll) was number two and four, Cleveland (lost in ALCS, #23) was number five and eight Atlanta (missed playoffs, #13) was number six and nine.

So yeah, it's really freaking hard to have a team that has balanced pitching and hitting. Money does help, though.

"'I don't understand why there aren't more lineups like Boston's in the league, because they've got it right.'"

You mean more teams with a $130 million+ payroll? A team with an elite farm system pumping cheap, talented players into the team year after year? A team that throws money at high-profile free agents that may or may not be good, but can get away with it anyway? A team with a ridiculously rabid fan base, outrageous ticket prices, one hundred plus years of history, it's own "nation," TV network and tons of marketable super stars? A lineup with All-Stars at nearly every position?

Note to Kansas City Royals: become Boston Red Sox, a.s.a.p.