Saturday, February 09, 2008

American Gladiator power rankings

Welcome to the second installment of the American Gladiator power rankings. With two more episodes down and two to go, things are getting interesting.

Gladiators are showing their strengths (Titan in Joust, Siren in Wall and Hang Tough) and weaknesses (Wolf on Wall, Hellga on Assault and Stealth in participation).

The number one and two spots simply flipped, but there were quite a few shakeups in the top six – including the freefall of a crowd favorite and the rise of Siren.

1. Crush (2)

While not doing much to justify being number one (two Joust APP with one KO and one opponent DQ), she was almost there anyway. Crush still hasn’t been knocked out in her signature event, and leads all AGs with four Joust knockouts.

2. Justice (1)

Justice was not asked to dominate in Assault again, so his numbers remain sterling. But he was bested on the Pyramid, allowing five points – just enough to lose the number one spot.

3. Venom (5)

Jumping up two spots is the ever-impressive Venom. Although only appearing in one event since the last rankings, her prowess on Wall allowed her leap-frog some underwhelming Gladiators. Her Wall line now stands at three APP, two KOs and five points allowed. Venom’s eight overall appearances in individual events are tied for third with four others.

4. Fury (3)

Fury almost didn’t deserve to move down in the rankings. She had two more Hang Tough showings and only allowed five points. Still one of the most versatile AGs, her nine overall appearances ranks second. At this point, more 3b. than actually fourth.

5. Siren (8)

Making the biggest leap in the standings, Siren racked up five appearances over two episodes and performed extremely well. Siren is now the only AG who is perfect on Hang Tough (two KOs in two APP, with no points allowed). Adding to the perfection, Siren tossed another shutout on Wall - her second so far. Every other AG with a Wall appearance has allowed points. The only thing keeping her down is a poor showing on Joust – one TKO and a DQ in two APP. If those Joust numbers were simply two ties, she’d be in the top three.

6. Titan (7)

Titan showed that he can indeed dominate on Joust. His lightning-quick double KO in two APP allowed him to move into the upper half.

7. Toa (6)

The Hawiian/Pacific Islander stereotype is still not getting a lot of burn in individual events, with only one Wall appearance over two episodes. He allowed five points in that one APP, dropping him a spot.

8. Wolf (4)

The biggest mover this week, Wolf had an awful two weeks. His 11 appearances leads AG, including a ridiculous seven on Hang Tough. Fury is second with a mere four. The more he appears on the rings, the worse Wolf performs. He has now allowed 35 points (5/APP) on Hang Tough with three KOs. And that 10 point whopping (his second) he received on Wall makes him the worst AG in that event. As much I love the over the top persona, Wolf is far from the best Gladiator.

9. Militia (11)

One of the most vanilla Gladiators did just enough to move up a few spots. He had one KO and one TKO on Earthquake – his AG-leading fourth quake appearance. If you are only asked to consistenly perform in one event (Crush in Joust, Wolf in Hang Tough), it’s inexcusable to perform poorly.

10. Mayhem (10)

An uneventful two weeks for Mayhem, who had one Pyramid APP, allowing five points. That would normally be enough to drop a spot or two, but he got some help from some truly terrible performances.

11. Hellga (9)

Quickly becoming one of the worst Gladiators, Hellga was asked only to stand there a shoot a Nerf gun at people – and couldn’t even do that well. In her third and fourth Assault appearances, Hellga allowed eight points for 19 total this season. If you’re going against Hellga in Assault, you can expect 4.75 points. That’s terrible.

12. Stealth (12)

I am not even sure she is on the show anymore. With zero appearances in two weeks, she should lose her spot to whoever wins the women’s side. Even that lady who sells toilet paper. Simply awful.

3 comments:

alchipx said...

In Wolf's defense, he was going up the eventually winner of the show...who specializes in rock climbing. Who would have beat that guy? He was half way up the damn wall before Wolf heard the whistle!

Stealth/Helga is worthless.

alchipx said...

In Wolf's defense, he was going up the eventually winner of the show...who specializes in rock climbing. Who would have beat that guy? He was half way up the damn wall before Wolf heard the whistle!

Stealth/Helga is worthless.

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