"[Tadahito Iguchi] has the typical Japanese swing."
-Orestes Estrada
Subtle racism for the win.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
An idiot talks the NBA MVP
Before I give my ballot for the NBA’s most valuable player, let’s get a few things straight here. This is the MVP, not the “best player in the league” or “guy with the best stats.” Oh no, this is which guy is the most clutch, gutsy and tough. Being on a winning team is paramount, as MVP’s aren’t on bad teams.
All this nonsense about “PER” and “true shooting percentage” or whatever is bunk. Let me look at points, rebounds and assists – and most importantly - wins. Don’t confuse me with your geeky “advanced stats” and “numbers.” Wake me up when Pi can run the fast break or make a reverse lay-up.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s put all this nonsense to rest and rank the four major MVP-contenders.
4. Chris Paul – PG,
I wouldn’t recognize Chris Paul on the street if I saw him. Sorry, I just wouldn’t. Is he black? White? I don’t know. Since when the Hornets move from Charlotte anyway? Remember Larry Johnson? That guy was awesome.
From what I remember (research is for scientists) Paul is averaging something like 20 points, close to 10 assists and over 2 steals per game. That’s pretty good – Nash’s MVP seasons were better, but he’s the best PG in the NBA right now anyway, so that’s expected.
Paul’s team is first in the West, but only by like two games. That’s not good enough. They could even miss the playoffs! Sorry Chris, you just aren’t MVP material.
3. LeBron James – Entire team,
James is putting up Oscar Robertson-type numbers - something like
2.
Finally, some teams that matter. Showtime is back in LA! Bryant is leading one of the NBA’s most storied franchises to the playoffs. The glare of the spotlight, the whispers of a possible trade and injuries to teammates - Bryant has dealt with it all while willing his team to victory.
So what if his numbers are worse than Paul’s or James’? Nobody cares about those guys. When teams come to the LA Forum, they know that
1. Kevin Garnett – PF,
Celtic pride is back! If only Red were here (rest in peace) to see his team – his children – where they are now. Best team in the league, on pace for 60+ wins and blowing out teams nightly. What changed from the Green being the laughingstock of the league last year? Two words – KG.
You want numbers? How about 17. That’s the seventeenth banner the Celts are going to hang in the rafters – harkening back to the glory days of Bird, Parish, Russell and Cousy – if KG has anything to say about it.
His
Monday, March 24, 2008
Every March Madness conversation ever
Guy 1: How's your bracket?
Guy 2: Ah not bad. I still got [between 40% - 60% of chosen teams] left.
Guy 1: Hey, how about that [minor upset] game last night?
Guy 2: I know, crazy! That [small school no one knows the location of with a funny nickname] may be the real deal.
Guy 1: They remind me of [most recent small school to achieve minor success].
Guy 2: I think [one good player on said team] is ready for the NBA [isn't].
Guy 1: Can you believe [high-profile basketball school] got knocked out in the second round?
Guy 2: Totally sucks, I had [Kansas] going all the way.
Guy 1: Who's in your Final Four?
Guy 2: [Three number one seeds and a two], I try to mix it up a bit.
Guy 1: How pumped are you Duke is gone?
Guy 2: Extremely.
Guy 2: Ah not bad. I still got [between 40% - 60% of chosen teams] left.
Guy 1: Hey, how about that [minor upset] game last night?
Guy 2: I know, crazy! That [small school no one knows the location of with a funny nickname] may be the real deal.
Guy 1: They remind me of [most recent small school to achieve minor success].
Guy 2: I think [one good player on said team] is ready for the NBA [isn't].
Guy 1: Can you believe [high-profile basketball school] got knocked out in the second round?
Guy 2: Totally sucks, I had [Kansas] going all the way.
Guy 1: Who's in your Final Four?
Guy 2: [Three number one seeds and a two], I try to mix it up a bit.
Guy 1: How pumped are you Duke is gone?
Guy 2: Extremely.
Friday, March 14, 2008
ESPN experts pick Hansbrough over Beasley for college Player of the Year
I know I have been doing a lot of these lately, but it's crazy how unfounded a lot of claims experts make are.
Most recently, ESPN.com college hoops experts picked UNC's Tyler Hansbrough over KSU's Micheal Beasley (by an 8-3 vote) for what I assume is the NCAA version of the MVP.
They even provided a handy stat comparison - in which Beasley is ahead in almost every measure. Three more points (third in the country) and two more boards (first in the country) per game. Marginally more assists and blocks per and nine more double-doubles. His slightly lower shooting percentages are offset by the fact Beasley shoots the three.
This goes back to the "what does MVP mean" argument. I will never understand giving an MVP to a guy on a better team with worse numbers. This award is "College Player of the Year" - there is no pretense of value anywhere. Who's the best. That is all.
Let's look at some of the mind-numbing quotes:
"he has been the toughest and most relentless player in the country." - Jay Bilas on Hansbrough.
He is a shoe-in for the Toughest Player in the Country award then!
"Hansbrough's numbers compare favorably to Beasley's, but Hansbrough's heart is bigger." - Bilas again.
Replace "compare favorably" with "are almost across the board less than" and I agree. Oh, and an enlarged heart is a serious medical disorder, he might want to get that checked out.
"No one should dispute who is a better NBA prospect or who has produced the better numbers." - Andy Katz
Finally, a vote for Beasley.
"But Hansbrough has had to carry the Tar Heels in a different manner than Beasley. Sure, UNC has more talented supporting players than Kansas State, but Hansbrough still had to do more. He had to take on even more of a leadership role." - Andy Katz
Damn.
Hansbrough carried them on his head, while spinning plates. Beasley just carried them on his back, riding a unicycle. What a jerk.
I think being the sole good player on a not-so-great team (but still probably tounament bound) involves more leadership than being on a team with a ego-maniac, celebrity coach and a ton of other blue-chip players. But that's just me.
"Hansbrough has been too valuable, too genuine and too dominant to deny him this honor." - Katz
Too genuine. Beasley peeks out from behind trees, twirling his waxed mustache and tying damsels to train tracks while cackling menacingly. Hansbrough saves puppies and kitties from trees while curing AIDS, always tells the truth, helps tutor high schoolers in math and is an overall good doobie.
"After point guard Ty Lawson went down with a severely sprained ankle in early February, Hansbrough stepped up and prevented North Carolina from taking a big step back." - Mark Schlabach
Funny story. I was looking through some box scores (not really) and noticed Hansbrough hasn't played a single game at point guard.
Here's my version of that paragraph, let me know what you think: "After running back Laurence Maroney went down with a hamstring injury, Tom Brady stepped up and threw a million touchdowns, preventing the Patriots from taking a big step back."
Irrelevant right?
This goes on for far too long. The ghosts of articles past, present and future about David Eckstein and Darin Erstad are hovering around this "article," rattling their chains of grit, hustle and never giving up-ness.
Beasley has similar numbers to Kevin Durant, lauded as one of the best college players ever. And Durant was a near unanimous pick. Could it be that Hansbrough is on the better team? No, I think it is something else...
Let's leave it to the venerable Dicky V. to explain:
"While Beasley may be the more talented of the two, Hansbrough is [white]*."
*edited for accuracy
Most recently, ESPN.com college hoops experts picked UNC's Tyler Hansbrough over KSU's Micheal Beasley (by an 8-3 vote) for what I assume is the NCAA version of the MVP.
They even provided a handy stat comparison - in which Beasley is ahead in almost every measure. Three more points (third in the country) and two more boards (first in the country) per game. Marginally more assists and blocks per and nine more double-doubles. His slightly lower shooting percentages are offset by the fact Beasley shoots the three.
This goes back to the "what does MVP mean" argument. I will never understand giving an MVP to a guy on a better team with worse numbers. This award is "College Player of the Year" - there is no pretense of value anywhere. Who's the best. That is all.
Let's look at some of the mind-numbing quotes:
"he has been the toughest and most relentless player in the country." - Jay Bilas on Hansbrough.
He is a shoe-in for the Toughest Player in the Country award then!
"Hansbrough's numbers compare favorably to Beasley's, but Hansbrough's heart is bigger." - Bilas again.
Replace "compare favorably" with "are almost across the board less than" and I agree. Oh, and an enlarged heart is a serious medical disorder, he might want to get that checked out.
"No one should dispute who is a better NBA prospect or who has produced the better numbers." - Andy Katz
Finally, a vote for Beasley.
"But Hansbrough has had to carry the Tar Heels in a different manner than Beasley. Sure, UNC has more talented supporting players than Kansas State, but Hansbrough still had to do more. He had to take on even more of a leadership role." - Andy Katz
Damn.
Hansbrough carried them on his head, while spinning plates. Beasley just carried them on his back, riding a unicycle. What a jerk.
I think being the sole good player on a not-so-great team (but still probably tounament bound) involves more leadership than being on a team with a ego-maniac, celebrity coach and a ton of other blue-chip players. But that's just me.
"Hansbrough has been too valuable, too genuine and too dominant to deny him this honor." - Katz
Too genuine. Beasley peeks out from behind trees, twirling his waxed mustache and tying damsels to train tracks while cackling menacingly. Hansbrough saves puppies and kitties from trees while curing AIDS, always tells the truth, helps tutor high schoolers in math and is an overall good doobie.
"After point guard Ty Lawson went down with a severely sprained ankle in early February, Hansbrough stepped up and prevented North Carolina from taking a big step back." - Mark Schlabach
Funny story. I was looking through some box scores (not really) and noticed Hansbrough hasn't played a single game at point guard.
Here's my version of that paragraph, let me know what you think: "After running back Laurence Maroney went down with a hamstring injury, Tom Brady stepped up and threw a million touchdowns, preventing the Patriots from taking a big step back."
Irrelevant right?
This goes on for far too long. The ghosts of articles past, present and future about David Eckstein and Darin Erstad are hovering around this "article," rattling their chains of grit, hustle and never giving up-ness.
Beasley has similar numbers to Kevin Durant, lauded as one of the best college players ever. And Durant was a near unanimous pick. Could it be that Hansbrough is on the better team? No, I think it is something else...
Let's leave it to the venerable Dicky V. to explain:
"While Beasley may be the more talented of the two, Hansbrough is [white]*."
*edited for accuracy
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Scoop Jackson really wants to play race card, somehow holds back
In this article, Scoop Jackson says that Larry Bird has damaged the Pacers as bad as Isiah Thomas has the Knicks. He comes up with many possible answers: race, region and franchises they run, among them.
My favorite part is the "yeah there's the $11 million dollar sexual harassment suit..." as if that can be brushed aside. Yes, Bird's players were involved in shootings which is kind of (but not really) comparable. But Bird can't control what his players do at 3 a.m. Thomas can control (although maybe not) his sexual harassing.
Scoop also blames Bird for "questionable moves" - such as getting rid of Artest and Stephen Jackson. But wait, I thought Bird is to blame for having bad attitude players involved in questionable behavior? Seems to me that getting rid of nutjobs like Artest and Jackson was the right move. Thomas may want to take notice and get rid of cancers like Randolph, Curry, Marbury ... pretty much the whole team not named David Lee.
Thomas ruined the flagship NBA franchise while Bird just messed with a team people only watch when the Hoosiers are bad. Knicks/Pacers. Indiana/NYC. It's really no contest. Should Bird be getting more hate? Maybe. Then again, I think Hoosiers can go all the way this year!
What about Chris Wallace in Memphis? He traded his best player for a third young point guard and a bag of peanuts. There are a lot of crappy GMs in the NBA - not just Bird and Thomas. The one who ruined the Knicks just happens to be on the biggest stage, nothing more. Oh and that whole sexual harassment thing.
My favorite part is the "yeah there's the $11 million dollar sexual harassment suit..." as if that can be brushed aside. Yes, Bird's players were involved in shootings which is kind of (but not really) comparable. But Bird can't control what his players do at 3 a.m. Thomas can control (although maybe not) his sexual harassing.
Scoop also blames Bird for "questionable moves" - such as getting rid of Artest and Stephen Jackson. But wait, I thought Bird is to blame for having bad attitude players involved in questionable behavior? Seems to me that getting rid of nutjobs like Artest and Jackson was the right move. Thomas may want to take notice and get rid of cancers like Randolph, Curry, Marbury ... pretty much the whole team not named David Lee.
Thomas ruined the flagship NBA franchise while Bird just messed with a team people only watch when the Hoosiers are bad. Knicks/Pacers. Indiana/NYC. It's really no contest. Should Bird be getting more hate? Maybe. Then again, I think Hoosiers can go all the way this year!
What about Chris Wallace in Memphis? He traded his best player for a third young point guard and a bag of peanuts. There are a lot of crappy GMs in the NBA - not just Bird and Thomas. The one who ruined the Knicks just happens to be on the biggest stage, nothing more. Oh and that whole sexual harassment thing.
Friday, March 07, 2008
MLB messing with CCBL
This is news that hits close to home for me. Major League Baseball is forcing six Cape Cod Baseball League teams to change their names due to copyright infringement.
As a Cape resident and Chatham A's fan, this is troubling news. CCBL was some of the first baseball I watched as a kid and going to games was a social event during high school. I wrote for the Cape Codder last summer, writing weekly league wrap-ups and going to various games. This was the first time I was paid to write - and it was about sports.
I don't understand MLB's logic here. It's not likely they are losing sales from an all-volunteer run summer baseball league. People aren't mistakenly buying YD Red Sox hats instead of Boston Red Sox hats. I would understand if some of the logos were infringing, many of them bear a very similar resemblance to major league clubs. But changing the team names? This is like the Arizona Wildcats going to every high school basketball team in America and making them change their names.
I hope the astounding number of former Cape League stars (Youkilis, Zito, Teixera, Frank Thomas, Varitek, Berkman and the one in seven big leaguers who played on the Cape) stand up for the league where they got their start.
The CCBL is an beacon of pure baseball in a time where the majors are rife with controversy. There are no tickets to games, almost everyone who works for the teams are volunteers, the players have to work minimum wage jobs (Zito worked at Stop and Shop during his stint), residents house players out of kindness during the summer and a majority of the teams have a hardcore following. The league has been around since 1885 and it would be a crime if it went under due to MLB's greed.
Watching the Chatham Lighthouses or the Orleans Sandbars just wouldn't seem right.
As a Cape resident and Chatham A's fan, this is troubling news. CCBL was some of the first baseball I watched as a kid and going to games was a social event during high school. I wrote for the Cape Codder last summer, writing weekly league wrap-ups and going to various games. This was the first time I was paid to write - and it was about sports.
I don't understand MLB's logic here. It's not likely they are losing sales from an all-volunteer run summer baseball league. People aren't mistakenly buying YD Red Sox hats instead of Boston Red Sox hats. I would understand if some of the logos were infringing, many of them bear a very similar resemblance to major league clubs. But changing the team names? This is like the Arizona Wildcats going to every high school basketball team in America and making them change their names.
I hope the astounding number of former Cape League stars (Youkilis, Zito, Teixera, Frank Thomas, Varitek, Berkman and the one in seven big leaguers who played on the Cape) stand up for the league where they got their start.
The CCBL is an beacon of pure baseball in a time where the majors are rife with controversy. There are no tickets to games, almost everyone who works for the teams are volunteers, the players have to work minimum wage jobs (Zito worked at Stop and Shop during his stint), residents house players out of kindness during the summer and a majority of the teams have a hardcore following. The league has been around since 1885 and it would be a crime if it went under due to MLB's greed.
Watching the Chatham Lighthouses or the Orleans Sandbars just wouldn't seem right.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
The 10 stories about Favre you'll be sick of (if you aren't already) by the weekend
Brett Favre retired today (knock on wood). Journalists the world over celebrated verily, as they now have feature story fodder for the next few days. Here are the 10 topics you'll avoid reading/have read a thousand times:
Battled addiction to pain killers and alcohol
Got traded from Atlanta to Green Bay
Played in 200+ consecutive NFL games
Won three MVPs (in a row) and a Super Bowl
Played immediately after death of father, throwing a lot of TDs
Is a country boy who "just wants to have fun"
Broke a number of prestigious NFL records
The last remaining gunslinger*
Retired more than once
Last play of career was an INT in the NFC Championship game
*arbitrary term invented by the media to nicely describe a QB who throws a lot of TDs and INTs - Favre is only member of species.
Update: This article has seven out ten. Come on sports writers, I know one of you can get all 10 in there!
Battled addiction to pain killers and alcohol
Got traded from Atlanta to Green Bay
Played in 200+ consecutive NFL games
Won three MVPs (in a row) and a Super Bowl
Played immediately after death of father, throwing a lot of TDs
Is a country boy who "just wants to have fun"
Broke a number of prestigious NFL records
The last remaining gunslinger*
Retired more than once
Last play of career was an INT in the NFC Championship game
*arbitrary term invented by the media to nicely describe a QB who throws a lot of TDs and INTs - Favre is only member of species.
Update: This article has seven out ten. Come on sports writers, I know one of you can get all 10 in there!
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