Good Idea, Bad Idea: Wii motion controls

For those who don't know, Destructoid.com is a "hardcore" video game blog - they're sort of like an anti-industry, subversive Kotaku. I have been reading the site for a while now and decided to join their vast community of bloggers when they announced a "Monthly Musings" feature.

Here is my entry (minus some pictures, because I am lazy) that should be promoted to their front page (hooray for me!) by the morning 2/7/08.

Nintendo’s Wii is a testing ground for innovative control in gaming today. From various states of waggling, shaking and grips, the consoles titles have been quite varied in their unique control schemes.

But hitting that sweet spot – the perfect balance between traditional and motion controls, has been an uphill battle. How much waggle is too much? Does the title just feel like a port with a few swings and shakes tacked on? Is any of this fun? Successful Wii games have found this harmony, while terrible ones have failed miserably.

Super Paper Mario for the Wii failed to implement motion controls well. While overall a solid title, the game not only tacked motion controls on a game that didn’t need them - they weren’t even tacked on that well.

In this 2D/3D platformer/RPG motion controls are designated to auxiliary items and various niche tasks. To drink a mushroom shake, one must tilt the Wii-remote. An item that drops shooting stars on enemies must be aimed point-and-click style. Players have to shake the remote to break free from ice blocks. While cute at first, these motions become tired, annoying and bothersome as the games goes on.

What developers have to learn is two-fold. First, determine if your game is going to have motion controls in it. Do this from the start, not “oh this is a Wii game. Let’s throw some motion control in.” Secondly, do it correctly. Incorporate it into the core gameplay. Not to the point of excess, but to the point where the player knows and gets used to using it.

Super Paper Mario would have been better as a straight-up, no motion controls platformer. Putting in motion controls just because you can or think you have to, is silly. It would be like using computer generated images in every film. Some are just better without them.

No More Heroes is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. The third-person action title uses motion control better than any Wii title thus far. A core technique in the gameplay, the motion controls manage to be fun, appropriate and perfectly paced.

The left/right/up/down beam-sword prompts appear multiple times in every fight in the game. And every single time they feel badass. Whether you’re swinging left/right for a decapitation or down to cut someone in half the long way, each flick of the wrist is a satisfying one.

Even more enjoyable than the beam-sword prompts are the wide array of wrestling moves players can perform. These involve nunchuk and remote motion simultaneously – to glorious effect. From the simple “both, up” suplex to the complicated “both, left/both down” slam, each wrestling move is not only satisfying – they feel somewhat realistic.

The biggest praise to No More Heroes has to go to what motion control they didn’t use. When the term “beam-sword” comes to mind, Wii developers must have thought “swing the remote, the sword swings on screen.” By eschewing this trapping, No More Heroes is a much more enjoyable and playable title. Instead, the developers used a simple high/low system (in which pointing the remote up was “high”) that made the game play like a Wii title without screaming “I’m a Wii game! See!” *Swings Wii-remote violently.* My forearm and shoulder owe Grasshopper Manufacture a beer.

Other titles like Zack and Wiki, Metroid Prime 3 and even Madden ‘07 have used motion control with varying degrees of success. But for every title that understands temperance and pacing, there are three that just don’t get it. Even great games like Super Mario Galaxy and Twilight Princess were great despite the motion controls, not because of them. With slightly more than a year worth of titles, Wii motion controls still have quite a way to go.

Easterbrook, further down the spiral of insanity

If New England wins, the Patriots will not be the greatest team ever -- at least conditionally, until such time as the NFL reveals what was in the Patriots' cheating videos and documents that the league destroyed in September.

If the Patriots go undefeated (not losing a single freaking game) they will be the best team ever. The only other argument would be for the ’72 Dolphins and they only played 17 games and like three of those were against good teams.

Most of the sports media have rolled over and played dead on the New England destroyed-tapes story; TMQ reminds you of the specifics here.

How about talking about Harrison’s HGH suspension? Oh that’s right, he served his suspension. And the Patriots were fined half a million and a first rounder.

Let’s take a look at your conspiracy theory laden rant.

My favorite line: And if you're tempted to say, "Gregg, at worst this is just cheating in some dumb football games," here's why the affair matters: If a big American institution such as the NFL is not being honest with the public about a subject as minor, in the scheme of things, as the Super Bowl, how can we expect American government and business to be honest with the public about what really matters?

This theory, to recap: NFL “lies” about Patriots “cheating” = US Government lying about anything.

That is unbelievably insane. And frankly, I am a little worried about Gregg. The NFL, as far as I know, is in no way affiliated with the US Government. I doubt they meet over lunch and talk about “lying to the public techniques” or something.

This is similar to saying if Billy cheats on his elementary school spelling test, than the government is putting mind control nano-bug technology in our food.

Until we know what was on the videotapes and in the documents the NFL destroyed, there will always be a cloud of suspicion over the Patriots.

I am pretty positive that the Patriots were punished, harshly, and could not have cheated for the past 17 games. And honestly, I doubt that stealing signals had much to do with the ass-whooping the Jets got in week one, but that’s just me.

Do you know why everyone has “rolled over and played dead” on this? Because it’s done with. They were fined, draft pick taken from them and columns like yours were written for weeks questioning the entire history of the team.

How much of an advantage did they gain by cheating? Did they really hand over everything to the league?

No, they kept the super-secret pen-sized spy cameras, shoe phones, dental floss that’s actually piano wire and fake moustaches, just in case.

Are they still cheating now?

Ever since the end of week one all eyes were on the Patriots in the wake of this scandal. There is no way they are dumb enough to keep cheating with a thousand times as many people looking on.

Most important by far, have they cheated in the Super Bowl?

I don’t know, watch the tapes and look for Lee Harvey Oswald on the sidelines. Goodell probably edited him out though.

No matter how well New England plays Sunday, every victory the team earned this season -- and perhaps victories in previous seasons, too -- is tainted until such time when we learn what was in the material the league destroyed.

Remember when they went to the Super Bowl in ’85? Asterisk. They cheated, stole signs from the Bears. Flutie’s dropkick? Stole that signal. Three Super Bowls, where media coverage reaches Britney Spears-like intensity and it would be nigh-impossible to have spy cameras all over the place? Rescinded.

And all you sportscasters and sportswriters

Assholes.

who will spend this week gushing over the Super Bowl, it would be nice if a few of you mentioned that, a mere four months ago, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell found the Patriots guilty of "a calculated and deliberate attempt to avoid long-standing rules designed to encourage fair play and promote honest competition."

How about I mention that you, Gregg Easterbrook, were scolded by ESPN ombudsman Le Anne Scheiber for your crazy, off-base rantings?

“In manufacturing extended false analogies between Richard Nixon's Watergate and Bill Belichick's tapegate, as if stonewalling to the press is the same as stonewalling to congressional investigators, as if violating a league rule is the same as violating federal law…”

Oops.

Two billion people will watch the Super Bowl; almost all of America's children and teens will watch the Super Bowl. If the bottom line of the event is "It's fine to cheat, you'll get away with it," what message does that send?

Think of the children, NFL! Forget the beer ads and commercials with suggestive themes and large-chested women (many of whom are prominently featured in your TMQ column). Those damn filthy, cheating Patriots are playing. Children may grow up to steal signals on sidelines in pee-wee football and be fined half a million cookies and first pick of the swings at recess!

I understand that you, Gregg Easterbrook, are a bastion of truth and honesty, but this is a little over the top, even for you.

And let’s never forget:

“Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner, is Jewish; the chief of Miramax, Harvey Weinstein, is Jewish. Yes, there are plenty of Christian and other Hollywood executives who worship money above all else, promoting for profit the adulation of violence. Does that make it right for Jewish executives to worship money above all else, by promoting for profit the adulation of violence? Recent European history alone ought to cause Jewish executives to experience second thoughts about glorifying the killing of the helpless as a fun lifestyle choice.”

Vampire Weekend debut lives up to hype

Gone are the days of touring endless bars half-full of drunk college kids for $50 and free beer until your band scrapes up enough money to record a demo and hope some label takes a chance. Even then, your band would need to make a hit music video or get on a magazine cover before becoming “big.”

In the age of MySpace, YouTube, FaceBook and thousands of music blogs, it is possible for a band to go from “total unknown” to “next big thing” in the blink of an eye. Vampire Weekend is one of these bands.

Hailing from New York, Vampire Weekend consists of four regular (although probably smart) guys who met at Columbia University. They look like how one would think four white kids from New York who go to Columbia look like – sweater-clad, skinny, maybe a little smarmy and simply adorable. These are rock stars that your parents would be delighted with if you brought one of them home for dinner.

A few of the band’s songs have been circulating the Internet since late 2007. The subsequent hype and “you got to check this out!” groundswell reached epic proportions – cresting with the release of the band’s self titled LP on January 29, 2008.

The song most are familiar with is “A-Punk,” a clip of which is shown after a number of MTV shows. Featuring the band’s signature surf-rock guitars and a healthy dose of sing-along-able “ohs” and “heys,” it’s easy to see why this song was chosen to represent the band’s style.

Indeed, Vampire Weekend’s music conjures images of Hawaiian shirts and sandy beaches. Keeping in theme, the band’s lyrics reference Cape Cod, New Mexico and California, along with college, and of course, girls. This isn’t deep stuff lyrically, but this is pop. It’s supposed to be fun, lighthearted and simple – and it is.

Album standout, “Walcott” is an upbeat, piano-filled story about the trappings of Cape Cod. Vampire Weekend shows their music savvy on this track, using the perfect amount of strings – which seem to pleasantly fade in and out throughout the record.

Off of “Walcott”: “Walcott/Mystic seaport/Is that that way/Don't you know/That your life could be lost?/Out of Cape Cod tonight.”

Vampire Weekend’s influences are clear on “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa.” Lyrically referring to Peter Gabriel and stylistically sounding a lot like Paul Simon. There’s bongo, maraca, simple, short guitar and kitschy lyrics. “Is your bed made?/Is your sweater on?/Do you want to/Like you know I do.”

“Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” represents what Vampire Weekend are about. They’re fun, a little immature, simple musically and pretty damn good song writers.

Vampire Weekend is an interesting record. It may seem unappealing – too happy, sunny or goofy, to some listeners. But after one listen, you just want to hear that one song again. Soon, one song turns into two. And then three. Suddenly, you’ll have listened to the whole thing three times.

Try as one might, it is very difficult to resist the charms of these four Columbia-schooled New Yorkers with their argyle sweaters and button-down shirts. Their two and a half minute pop vignettes will be playing in your head the minute you turn the record off – if you can, that is.

Vampire Weekend, "A-Punk."

'Video games as art' debate ends

Before reading any further I highly recommend going here and just going along with what will happen, it should take about 10 minutes at the most. The following will mean much more if you take the 10 minutes.

I would also like to thank Destructoid.com for bringing this to my attention and indirectly causing me to write this.

As video games, the fastest growing and evolving form entertainment, become more and more legitimate in the eyes of the general public, many questions about their merit will arise. Do they have any effect on people’s behavior? How should the government (if at all) legislate them? Are they simply a fad?

Those questions will get answered – indeed some of them already have been. But one will always remain: are video games art?

Video games undoubtedly have the capacity to move a player emotionally. The advances in storytelling, graphics and writing in the industry have elevated many games to almost Hollywood film-like levels. Many a gamer has confessed to crying during Aeris’ unexpected death in the classic Final Fantasy VII or being deeply afraid and disturbed in Silent Hill 2. The question “can video games affect the player?” is not a debate – it is a fact.

But art is a difficult term to define. For a very long time film was not considered art and in some circles, is still not on par with literature and the craft arts (painting, sculpture, etc.). Video games have the stigma of being the new kid on the block. Being barely 30 years old and targeted mostly to the 18-35 male demographic are two major factors that have kept video games from becoming art.

Up until very recently I was inclined to agree with the sentiment that games weren’t art. They have a learning curve, appeal to a somewhat narrow sub-division of people and require significant time/money investments.

All that changed with a game called Passage.

Passage is an extremely minimalist game. Its visuals are no better than any Atari game. The controls are nothing more than the four arrow keys on your computer. Its story – non-existent. In fact it’s difficult to call Passage a “game” at all as there are no goals and it isn’t really “fun.” But if that is true, what is it?

My first play through the game started like any other. I moved my on-screen character from left to right, like thousands of other two-dimensional games, towards some unknown goal. Upon seeing a female character (known as Sally from here on) that looked like mine, I walked up to her, and we were suddenly joined. Upon grabbing some treasure and seeing my presumed score (the number in the top right hand corner) rise, I thought I had the game figured out.

As I progressed it became obvious that I could not access certain areas with Sally. Soon the pixilated characters started to change, subtly at first, only eye and “clothing” color changed. Then my characters began to visibly age, graying hair and a slower walk. Suddenly, Sally died - became a tombstone almost instantly. My avatar became hunched and the soundtrack slowed, with the never ending right side of the screen becoming more and more blurry. My character’s death was almost foreseeable. There was no goal in this “game,” no princess waiting to be rescued, no bosses to be defeated.

What Passage does that is so unique is that it manages to ask philosophical questions within its core “game-play.” While story-driven games like Killer7 and the Metal Gear Solid series have asked questions about politics, among other things, they have done so in narrative, not game-play. The decisions you make while playing Passage can be interpreted as decisions in life. Would you be better off without Sally? Should you go hunting for treasure? Explore laterally or always move forward? Try to beat the inevitable or accept it? Grieve over Sally’s death or move on? Although it is doubtful the way you play Passage is the way you live your life, what if, on some subconscious level, it was?

I read on a message board that a player simply stood over the grave of Sally, unable to move on. Whether true, exaggeration or sarcasm it did not shock me that a player had that reaction. Upon her death I kept trudging forward, although with a moment of surprise and shock.

How could the death of a character with no voice, no personality and no real relationship to me or my character whatsoever have any effect on me or anyone else? In many ways this death meant more than that of Aeris, Old Yeller, or any other character in any form of entertainment, because it felt real. I chose to be with this girl, I spent time with her, I grew old with her and I watched her die suddenly.

One can play through the game without Sally. While she does double your “score,” she doesn’t offer any abilities like a super jump or fireballs. That decision also allows the player to explore more freely and possibly make up for that score differential with treasure. But traveling alone, especially after playing the game with Sally, is a lonely experience. Sure, you can acquire more treasure - but some chests contain flies. And, as I assume is true in life, growing old and dying alone is a depressing ordeal. The game allows players to choose to travel alone or with Sally and the only reward/penalty one receives for either choice, is purely self-imposed.

My personal moment of intrigue during the game came during exploration. I admit that I like to explore during games, so it was not a surprise that I did the same during Passage. What was different was that I wasn’t allowed to go to certain places with Sally alongside me. I kept try and trying to squeeze into areas obviously made for one character, hoping that it was a glitch. But through it all I don’t recall thinking that I wish I didn’t have her along.

After playing Passage it is almost impossible to come away without a reaction. Some cried. Others felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness. Some didn’t get it. Others laughed. I don’t care if this is game, “interactive art” or something that defies definition. I do know that it is one of the most interesting philosophical pieces of media I have ever experienced. I urge anyone with even a fleeting interest in gaming (or philosophy, or art) to take five minutes and play this game. Even if you feel nothing or don’t understand it, that probably says something about you - that’s more than anyone can say about Super Mario Brothers or Halo.

Update: Creator, Jason Rohrer talks about what he wanted to say making the game

American Gladiator power rankings

Rankings are scored on six individual events. Therefore these do not include Gauntlet and Powerball, due to their difficulty/impossibility to keep score of. But in Hit and Run’s case, I just think it sucks. Stats like knock outs, points allowed, times knocked out and holds, among others, are used where appropriate. And yes, this may be the dorkiest thing ever.

Note: This does not include tonight’s (1/28) episode.

Update: Big thanks to Deadspin for linking this article. They're easily one of my favorite five or six satirical sports blogs around. Thanks again!

With five full episodes in the books, American Gladiators has made me remember why I loved the original show in the first place and watched a ton of it on ESPN Classic recently. It’s everything we love about sports: big hits, probable steroid use, ridiculous personalities, underdog stories and of course, jousting.

But who is the best Gladiator? Is it the unbridled manliness of Ted Nugent look-alike Wolf? What about the Hitler’s dreamboat, Titan? In honor of the cornball glory that is the new American Gladiators, here is the first installment of the American Gladiator Power Rankings.

1. Justice

While performing well in Pyramid (one for one with no points allowed), it is Justice’s insane Assault numbers that got him the number one ranking. He has three kills in four appearances - but even better is that miniscule seven points allowed, which is good for 1.75 points/appearance. Justice may be a one hit wonder right now, but his dominance has to be recognized.

2. Crush

Similar to Justice, Crush dominates one event – Joust, like none other. Arguably one of the more even events in terms of Gladiator/Human relations, Crush has obliterated opponents to the tune of three KOs and one tie in four appearances. Recording two ties in Earthquake probably cost Crush the number one spot, but it is still within striking distance.

3. Fury

While the previous two Gladiators dominate one event, Fury excels at many. Her Assault numbers are nuts (two KOs, three points allowed in two appearances) and her Earthquake numbers are tops (one KO, one tie in two APP). She also has a hold in one Pyramid appearance. What brought her down to three were her shortcomings in Hang Tough – 15 points allowed in two appearances, highest total among Gladiators. Also, only Venom has as many appearances as Fury’s seven.

4. Wolf

A combination of strong and quick, Wolf is the male version of Fury. He’s perfect in Pyramid (two for two, no points) and leads AG with two kills on Hang Tough - only one other Gladiator has even one. His big slip-up was allowing the full 10 on his lone Wall appearance. His 3.33 points/APP in Hang Tough is comfortably first in AG.

5. Venom

This one surprised me, as Venom is one of the less popular Gladiators. Her seven appearances tie her with Fury for first. Venom, like Fury, also doesn’t appear in any event more than twice. Her best event has been the Wall, with one KO and five PA in two appearances. Venom is also the only other AG with a knockout on Hang Tough. Her Joust numbers aren’t great (one KO, one time knocked out in two APP) but they’re serviceable.

6. Toa

Not making much of a splash in the individual events, Toa still managed to stay in the top half. He is skilled in the Wall, with one KO and only five points allowed in two appearances. His five points allowed in one Pyramid APP is nothing to write home about though.

7. Titan

This was my biggest shocker. Titan has the perfect AG persona, carrying the torch of Nitro as the face of the show. But he may be too big for his own good, only able to compete effectively in strength events. He dominated his one Pyramid APP, allowing no points. His Joust numbers are uninspiring for a person his size (one KO, one TKO in two APP). Since I doubt we’ll see him in Hang Tough or Wall, he has to dominate the events he does partake in.

8. Siren

When I first started this I didn’t have the most recent episode entered in yet. Siren had zero individual event appearances at that time and was ranked, I think seventh. She got her shots this week, and what a week it was. Knocked out in Assault and allowing an AG high 13 points. Not even the sole AG spotless Wall performance (one KO, with no points) can cover up that atrocious Assault game.

9. Hellga

Hellga is an even more limited Titan. She has zero speed to speak of and I can’t see her on Hang Tough, Pyramid or Wall. She’d probably be a monster in Joust or Earthquake, but she hasn’t had the chance yet. The one individual event she has done, Assault, was pretty bad. She got knocked out (one of three AGs so far) and allowed 11 points, good for second to last.

10. Mayhem

Mayhem has the dubious distinction of not one, but two disqualifications on Joust for stepping on his opponent’s platform. When I have to keep track of DQs just because of you, you know you’re going to be ranked low. Not to be outdone, he also is one of three AGs to get burned for the full 10 on Wall. His one Pyramid hold keeps him out of the bottom two.

11. Militia

Militia hasn’t done much of anything well, but not for lack of trying. While AGs like Siren and Hellga have been bad, at least they can hang their hats on not having a lot of appearances. No such luck for Militia. His six APP ties him with a host of others for second. He lost in his sole Hang Tough APP after an injury and has a TKO, one tie and one wedgie in two Earthquake stops. His hold on Pyramid is fine, but that Assault line (two APP, 11 points, one KO and one TKO) is ugly.

12. Stealth

Without a doubt the worst AG name ever and the worst Gladiator so far – Stealth has been pretty much invisible in these events. She is the only AG to allow her opponent to reach the top of the Pyramid, an event I feel heavily favors the Gladiators. I would be surprised if any competent Gladiator allows any more than one or two to reach the top this entire season. Stealth is also one of the three to allow the full 10 on Wall. Terrible start so far.