Monday, September 08, 2008

Connelly and stream of consciousness writing

Did you hear? Some footballer named Tom Brady got hurt. I've never heard of him, but ESPN seems to be shitting themselves. And hey, Tim Rattay and Jeff George are back in the headlines, so it has to be good.

Micheal Connelly - who's "Top Ten" blog is a representation of everything wrong with blogging, filled with random facts, fragmented thoughts and incomplete sentences - is goin' off the rails on a crazy train with Brady knee-Gate (first), and pretty much everything else Boston sports related.

Tom Brady is already a Hall of Famer. But Canton, Ohio and a yellow jacket wasn’t his quest. His mission was to be the greatest quarterback that ever played the game. For seven years the sixth round pick turned out to be a stunning amalgamation of Jack Armstrong, Johnny Unitas and Clark Kent. He won whenever he stood over center and thrived while others melted.

Couldn't we get some more contemporary QBs in there? Montana, Elway, Aikmen maybe?

But then for some reason he deviated.

Lol wut?

Deviated: 50 TDs/one league MVP/one play away from a fourth Super Bowl ring.

He inexplicably ventured from his set course and instead traveled roads that often have transformed immortals to mortals. With Yankee hat on head, he walked the streets of New York with a model on his arm while teammates and fans wondered where their quarterback roamed. Instead of maintaining a routine of excellence - he fathered a child, carried flowers, skipped offseason workouts and attended concerts instead of practices.

Reason Brady got hurt yesterday was NOT Pollard hitting him. No. It was because he
1) wore a Yankees hat (sin)
2) walked in NY (millions and millions of people do that)
3) dated a model (awesome)
4) had a freakin' baby
5) carried flowers

Are you serious? You work for the second biggest publication in Boston and this is what you come up with.

The fact that the Patriot quarterback has spent more time with the paparazzi this offseason

His fault. Do you know he calls the paps to photograph him and interrupt his personal life?

Just minues into a season that he entered distracted,

He sure looked focused completing 7-for-11 and 76 yards.

we discovered that Tom Brady, like ourselves, is vulnerable. The quarterback who once threw like Zeus now limps like Achillies.

ESPN bottom line: Brady, unlike Achillies, was not dipped in the River Styx ... Mets 5, Phillies 3 ...

* At the same time Brady was going down, Favre was throwing a 56 yard touchdown pass

And Micheal Turner was running for 200+ yards, McNabb passed his third TD of the day and a bunch of other shit happened. So yes, other football was being played during this time. Thanks.

* I say this every year but are there more commercials than ever - ads killed the flow of the game - game was boring

Game was boring. Brady hurt got. Ads killed game. Broken writing is broken.

* How many drops did Bowe have for KC

Well question marks are cool. ESPN doesn't list drops, but he had five catches for 55 yards and a TD. He sucks.

* Paul Byrd is 4-1 as a Sox while being provided 8.5 runs of support in his four wins

Evidence that wins are fucking dumb. Bird could have given up 8.4 runs in his starts and be 4-1. I can't wait for his olde timey wind-up, hittable 85 MPH heaters and lack of strikeouts in the playoffs.

* Brett Favre is on pace for 32 TD and 0 Interceptions

Brady for Favre, straight up?

No comments: