Thursday, January 08, 2009

Utah winners of Rick Reilly's Fav Team Bowl!

College football is not my cop of tea. Sure, I'll watch bowl games and big regular season games, but the whole BCS system is undeniably stupid.

The Utah Utes went 13-0 this season. Not the first time a crappy conference team went undefeated and it won't be the last.

Rick Reilly, in all his (see: interns) photoshopping glory, has crowned Utah the national champs after they beat number four ranked Alabama.

Some gifts people give are pointless: Styling mousse to Dick Vitale. An all-you-can-eat card to Kate Moss. The BCS Championship given to Oklahoma or Florida.

It means nothing because the BCS has no credibility. Florida? Oklahoma? Who cares? Utah is the national champion.

The End. Roll credits.

A Kate Moss (is she still living?) joke? Delightful. Next they'll be a "Thong Song" reference and a Kurt Cobain shot.

And it's not the end. Utah plays in the shitty Mountain West Conference - featuring such luminaries as San Diego State (4-8 in 2007), Colorado State (3-9), Wyoming (5-7) and UNLV (2-10). Now it's not their fault they play in a bad conference, but when measuring them against other teams, it is a fair point.

Argue with this, please. I beg you. Find me anybody else that went undefeated. Thirteen-and-zero. Beat four ranked teams. Went to the Deep South and seal-clubbed Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. The same Alabama that was ranked No. 1 for five weeks. The same Alabama that went undefeated in the regular season. The same Alabama that Florida beat in order to get INTO the BCS Championship game in the first place.

Only because you begged.

Those four ranked teams: Oregon State (24), TCU (11), Brigham Young (17) and Alabama (4). So yes, the Bama win was huge. An upset, one could say. But the TCU game was 13-10 and the game versus that other OSU was 31-28 - hardly blowouts. Could've gone either way. But nope, Utes are the champs. Engrave the trophy.

Sure, BCS blowhards will hand you schlock about how the college football season is like a playoff, how it's an elimination tournament every week. Really? Well, how come Florida and Oklahoma weren't eliminated with their losses? Utah ran the table, beat everybody set in front of them, including Ala-damn-bama in no less than the Sugar Bowl, and gets the bagel.

Other close games (margin) versus crappy teams: Michigan (two points), Air Force (seven), New Mexico (three). New Mexico finished 4-8.

Utah beat everyone in front of them. Every crappy MWC team, many by very few points. Congrats.

Oklahoma, that horrible one-loss team, meanwhile, scored 54 points per game, will play seven ranked teams, is in a division with Missouri, Texas, Kansas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma State, and a bunch of other teams with third stringers that would start at Utah. Oklahama's closest win? Twenty versus Oklahoma State.

Florida, that team with one loss (by one point), also sucks. Playing four ranked opponents, playing with Bama, Georgia, LSU, Tennessee and all those other perennially great football teams and outscoring opponents 45 to 13 on the season. Their closest call? An eleven point win versus Bama. Next closest? Twenty-three against Miami.

Reilly's ignorance of margin of victory is so profound, I bet he picked the Angels to win the World Series last season.

What, you want the Utes to win a spelling bee? Make a prize-winning souffle? Knock up Angelina Jolie? What?

Schedule games against tougher non-conference opponents? And no, this year's Weber and Utah State don't count.

Until all these people do the right thing, I'll be celebrating with the true national champions — the undefeated, untied Utah Utes. (Our new slogan: Utahk about a team!)

They can join Hawaii and Boise State as the faux-National Champions.

Lemonades for everybody!

Excuse me? Is lemonade the state drink of Utah or something?

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