Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Teams that are better than the 10-6 Giants coming into '08: None, according to fools

Ahh football season. Just when baseball is wearing out it's welcome, it comes along to stem the boredom and boost post numbers with awful writing.

Cold Hard Football Facts is quickly becoming my favorite site. Not because it's good or anything, but because it's so damn fun to read what drivel they espouse as fact.

CHFF boasts the most accurate power rankings on the web.

Differ, I beg to do it.


Oh God, it begins already.

Look, the Giants won the Super Bowl. Hooray! Making them number one for the last power rankings of '07: fine. But look just at the record. 14-6. They were 10-6 pre-playoffs. 10-6. 10-6. 10-6. I can't type that enough.

The Redskins - a team in their division - were 9-7, one lousy game worse than the Giants. If that 17-24 loss versus the G-men in week three goes the other way, hey, maybe the Skins win the Super Bowl at 10-6 and are the best team in football come the 2008 season.

Nope, number 15. One game. Eight points.

But wait, there's more!

2007 vs. quality opponents (including playoffs): 5-5

5-5. Winning percentage of .500 against quality opponents. The Patriots were 9-1 against quality opponents. And they lost one fucking game all season. Number two team. Sorry biggest margin of victory in points per game, only team in the modern era to go 16-0 and lost the Super Bowl on a string of insane plays.

Giants are better.

Last year’s highlight: Fought hard in Tampa on wild-card weekend, but just fell short against the favored Bucs and bowed out of the postseason early … oh no, wait, they won the goddamn Super Bowl!!!

Let me hypothesize for a moment.

There are two teams, the Blue Pork Mayans and the Glue Engrid Smyrniots. The Mayans barely squeak into the playoffs and win a bunch of playoff games (barely) on the road to the Super Bowl.

The Smyrniots were one of the top one best teams ever to play a regular season of football. They outscored opponents by a record 19.7 points/game in the regular season and finished 16-0, going to 18-0 before the Super Bowl...

OK, I'll stop this "hypothesis," this fucking happened. The fact that the Patriots are not number one is a joke - an unfunny one at that.

6. Green Bay Packers

They do know Favre is gone, right?

The moment Rodgers throws an INT - nay, the moment he doesn't throw a TD while driving a pickup, wearing blue jeans and waving the American flag, he will be booed relentlessly. Call me crazy, but I don't see them as a "Dominant Dozen" (CHFF's awesome tier system. The only other tier? "The fucking rest." Seriously, it's the "Tepid Twenty.") team.

Cold, Hard Football Facts: Why all the white noise surrounding Brett Favre? Consider this: The Packers reached the playoffs 11 times and suffered only one losing season in his 16 years at the helm. In the 16 years before Favre arrived, the Packers reached the playoffs just once and enjoyed only three WINNING seasons.

So without him number six team in the NFL? Got it.

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