When I say "winning football team in Texas," who do you think of? No, not the Oilers. It's the Cowboys. The sports model of why the terrorists hate us. They've got T.O. and Romo -- prototypes of their respective positions. A crazy owner and the most famous cheerleaders this side of the Laker Girls. By golly, they're America's team!
I don't know how much owners have to do with other teams, but I do know Jerry Jones is fucking crazy and makes pretty much every Cowboys decision. Is this a good move? I doubt it, but hey, it seems to be working in a dysfucntional way.
But your Chief Justice will take the Texans owner. Every time. The owner whose team has never been above .500 in seven seasons and hit eight wins only twice -- these past two years. Please, Justify this pick (these puns will go on all day).
I'm going to get screamed at for this opinion.
I know that upfront. I'm braced for it. I'm going to be reminded that Jerry Jones has three championships, Bob McNair none, that the Cowboys are more interesting than the Texans and that the Cowboys now have a better stadium than the Texans.
I'm going to be reminded that there are advantages to having a pro-active owner instead of one that sometimes seem not to have a pulse. I'll hear that the Cowboys are one of the two most popular professional sports franchises in this country while the Texans are irrelevant.
It's also true that Bob McNair hasn't had a good off-season. He raised ticket prices at the worst possible time. He apparently is so insulated from reality that he doesn't know the country's economy is in shambles.
His team got caught doing off-season drills that were both dumb and illegal. Investigations are underway, injury grievances pending. McNair's GM, Rick Smith, appears to have zero respect inside the lockerroom. Meanwhile, the Texans are beginning their eighth season still in search of a year in which they win more than they lose.
McNair should thank his lucky stars that he lives in a city in which the media coverage of the team is so soft. No matter how many free-agent mistakes are made, no matter how many injury grievances are filed, no matter how many rules are broken, there's almost no tough reporting.
Holy shit, looks like I don't have to do any work here.
Having said all of that, it's not even a close call for me. I'd take Bob McNair over Jerry Jones seven days a week.
Before I clicked on this article, I thought, "Hey, maybe this Justice fella will make some argument about how the Texans have been really good drafters the past few seasons and seem to be moving in the right direction." Maybe a few Texans/Cowbys draft comparisons, something like that.
The Texans get it.
I believe more than ever than Gary Kubiak is going to be a terrific head coach. He gets his teams to play with passion each and every week. If the Texans continue to upgrade the roster, they'll eventually win.
"If the Texans get better, they'll get better."
The Cowboys are a mess.
A 9-7, one season removed from 13-3, mess that has talent at every position and, unfortunately for them, plays in a ridiculously tough division.
No head coach has real authority. If a player has a problem with the coach, he knows he can go to Jerry. If the head coach makes a rule, players know it means nothing, that Jerry might overrule it at any moment.
Jerry has good personnel men on his payroll, but he doesn't always listen to them. He has no concept of team chemistry and why a guy like T.O. is a team-killer.
So it's team chemistry. That's why the Boys are a mess. Not an injured QB or a shit trade for the corpse of Roy Williams. There's too much T.O.nium mixed with Romoric acid, creating a cloud of deadly gas.
T.O. -- or T.K. (for team killer) as I like to call him, last season:
69 catches/1052 yards/10 TDs
McNair wouldn't allow a guy like T.O. within five miles of his front door. He doesn't want thugs on his team, either.
Thugs is old, white writer speak for the N-word. Just sayin. And if McNair wouldn't let a 1000 yard, double-digit TD receiving "thug" on his team, he is dumb.
Roll your eyes about this if you want, but in the end, character is still important. When a game is tight in the fourth quarter, talent and chemistry are important.
Like how much lithium is in the ball or the oxide levels of the air in Denver.
The Texans still have one more difficult step to take in their quest for respectability. I don't know if they're going to take it in 2009 or not. But they're way more likely to be in the playoffs next season than the Cowboys. For that, we should be appreciative.
OK. This is bullshit. But not for the reasons you think. The Texans may be more likely to make the playoffs, but it has shit to do with the owner Master's degree in chemistry.
The Cowboys are still playing with the Eagles, Giants and Redskins -- all better than above average teams with huge payrolls. The Texans play with the Titans, Colts and Jags. The Titans are great, but Kerry Collins? Fo real?!!? The Colts are on the down swing, but still good and the Jags are mediocre.
And the Cowboys still have Romo and Witten and T.O. and a good defensive front and bunch of other shit the Texans don't have. Gun to my head, I am picking the Cowboys to make it, if only because the Texans have never been above .500.
Texans lifetime record -- 40-72
Cowboys in same span -- 61-51