ESPN/AP get an F in journalism

So the Yankees and Mariners played a baseball match today. Twas quite the game, with 18 runs scored, including nine in the first three innings between the two clubs - plenty of subjects to write about.

But apparently ESPN/AP forgot about "inverted pyramid" and "covering things that actually matter in baseball games" when writing this game up.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Joba Chamberlain sauntered over to the media huddled around his locker, hesitating for just a moment before plunging into the middle of the cameras.

"I didn't even do anything today," he said under his breath.

See, even Joba took journalism 101.

He didn't have to, with the way the Yankees are swinging the bats.

This is the first relevant information to this game. The Yankees scored 12 runs, including a three-run homer by none other than the Great Giambino and Robinson Cano going 4-for-4. But after reading the first three paragraphs I know the following:

1) Joba saunters.
2) He "didn't even do anything today"
3) The Yankees swung bats in a certain way

Even the headline is unclear:
Yanks' offense hot, Chamberlain steps up against bumbling Mariners

Now Joba "stepping up" has certain connotations. I am thinking Pedro vs. Cleveland in the '99 ALCS. That was a pitcher stepping up. At least give me Max Scherzer retiring all 13 batters he faced in his relief debut.

Joba's line:

2.0 IP/1 BB/1 H/2 K

Inspiring! Uplifting! Sensational!

Here's my took-me-three-seconds-to-write lead

The New York Yankees shelled Mariner pitching to the tune of 12 runs this afternoon in Yankee Stadium. Jason Giambi went deep and knocked in three runs, while Robinson Cano had four hits. Mike Mussina picked up his seventh win of the season in the 12-6 rout.

(a few dozens paragraphs later)

Joba Chamberlain pitched two scoreless innings with two K's as he continues to build up his stamina in preparation for his move to the rotation.

Was that so hard?