Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I hope Curly Headed Boyfriend is kidding

Because if not, he's full of doo-doo.

Maybe we should overreact and just say that Dustin Pedroia is morphing into Boston's Pete Rose.

Maybe we shouldn't.

Vince Carter is the next Jordan!

That's Pete Rose - without the switch hitting, without the boys' regular haircut, without the betting slips.

Those, but also without the 24-year career and like 4,000 hits. Other than that, they're the same.

Pedroia has emerged as a second baseman who can get 200 hits and win a batting title. Like Pete Rose.

It makes no sense. Pedroia lives in a body that would get sand kicked in his face at Nantasket Beach. The press guide says he's 5 feet 9 inches, but that's a lie.

I hate the "the press guide says X, but that's a lie" line. What advantage does the press guide gain from lying? And it's always about little guys being smaller. It's never "he's listed as 6'10", but he's really 9'4".

I command you, Dan Shaugnessy, to prove to me that Pedroia is not 5'9" and is indeed 4'2".

Everything about him flies in the face of everything we thought we knew. Count me among those who believed Pedroia would not be able to succeed at the big league level. Now I'm beginning to think he might be the greatest hitter in the history of baseball.

As ridiculous as that last line is, it has to be a joke because a Seinfeld reference follows. If it is indeed not a joke, I think I see the time/space continuum ripping in my living room.

Theo Epstein and his minions get tons of credit on this one. Not many organizations would have taken a chance on such an unusual prospect.

Now we're getting into "tiny white player defies the odds" archetype here. My favorite!

"No one gave him a chance. Look at him, he's short! We all know good hitting correlates to height! He'll never make it!"

The whole baseball world sees it now. Dustin Pedroia: the new Pete Rose.

If this article were an internet forum, this would be flamebait and Shaugnessy would be a troll. I think he wrote this just to get hate mail.

Let's hope the Globe drops the banhammer on him.

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